Insomania

i haven't been able to sleep for the past few weeks now. i find myself drinking green tea lattes almost every day. i don't know what's happening to me.

i think too much. people tell me this, and i'm beginning to believe it. i feel like i have so many thoughts in my head that i just can't get them out fast enough or in time. is this why i forget things (like names) so easily?

i sing to my self that i never want to regret anything. it's weird because i feel like i've done something bad to lose it all. after 4 years, now what, i tell myself. go to graduate school and get a great job? really: is this what it all comes down to?

i still don't have any housing in syracuse. i don't know where i'm going to live because i lost the house i had initially. this stuff isn't easy.

the one thing i really want to do at this point is travel. i want to be a non-revenue united first class passenger forever. flying internationally in the united first cabin is amazing. they say things like: would you like hot fudge on your sundae? would you like a freshly-baked chocolate chip cookie? mr. resuello, which entree would you like for dinner this evening? water: still or sparkling? may i offer you some champagne before take off?

i love traveling. i wish i could defer graduate school--i actually wish that graduate school didn't have to start so soon. july 5!?! seriously!??! that's about 1 month away. it's ridiculous.

anyway... those are my random thoughts. by the way, i love it when i wake up to phone calls. it's so nice nearing them in the morning. it's then that i know that i've started my day too late.

off to try to sleep. 09.45 meeting tomorrow morning + sleep at 04.30 = less than 4 hours of sleep. time for another green tea latte.