2:45

two minutes, forty-five seconds... that's what it took for me to say hello, see how your day went, and realize that i still like you. i think about you often, and i wonder if you can tell. it's hard for me to really let you know how i feel, but honestly...

it's funny because i never thought that i could really feel this way about someone, as i have for you. it's gotten to the point now, where i sing to myself, as if i'm serenading you. i cyper when no one's listening, but in truth, it's all about you and the things that i feel about you... argh. what can i say?

i wish i could serenade you with my voice and a piano, just as i did a while ago. it's been so long, but this short time was just a glimpse of what could possibly be: the things i'll miss out on when i'm gone.

my cousins and friends often think that i'm crazy when i talk about deferring graduate school just so that i can stick around. i like to think that i could use this time to be lazy, travel the world, grow with friends, spend quality time with family... but honestly, those aren't the reasons i'd want to defer.

one of my close mentors told me that you could be worth it. and deferring school just to have a chance with you may be the best move i could make in my entire life. ultimately, she said that love is the one thing that we all want, but it is also the hardest thing to find. is it really true? is love really what i want?

i always thought that i wanted to merely give back to my community--make the world a better place, they say. but now that i think about it, i believe that i need to be selfish. i should do things for myself and no one else. i need to figure out what makes me tick and what drives me. through this, i will find the one thing that will make me happy. is it you, though? is it the possibility of love that we could share with each other?

i don't know. what i realized, however, was that in two minutes, forty-five seconds... i realized what i miss so much.